Model: Hate is a mirror

January 19th, 2021

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  • Something you don't accept in yourself

  • Something you demonize in others

  • Shadow work


the gift

Our hate is telling us, there is shadow work to be done. There is something we should reintegrate in our lives, to become more whole.


(src: Book: The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren)



But some things I should hate right! Some things are evil!

There is a difference between hating something and valuing it's opposite.

It's unhealthy to be driven by your hate for something.

It's healthy to be driven by you valuing something.


Example: let's say someone enjoys hurting others for the fun of it.

I hate 'hurting others'

I hate that person.

I demonize that person.

Does this help me?

Hate indicates shadow work, something that would make me more whole, if reintegrated in my life.


If I would resolve my hate for 'hurting others' my life would be better, I would be more whole.


This does not mean that I would suddenly like 'hurting others'!

I still value the opposite: treating others with kindness and respect.

And I would still dislike any occurrence of lack of kindness and respect.

  • I would no longer hate people who hurt others.

  • I would no longer hate myself if I hurt others.


Shadow work, reintegration hated things into our lives, allows for anger to take over.

Model: Anger is a protector

Anger helps us protect our values, beliefs,...


Once we let go of hate, we may even be able to help others change.

Anger can give us the energy to initiate change.

But hate can at most cause destruction.