Video: Start With Why Book Club Part 2 - Simon Sinek
January 4th, 2021
How do you know if your why is something you can lead with? (5:45)
If you ever made a friend, you know
Whys are compatible
Not all other people
What if you're not in a position of authority, but you can clearly see the why? (7:10)
Organisations are started with a why.
Often not articulated.
Leaders / entrepreneurs falsely believe the why is clear to everyone.
Are we changing the way we try to fit or belong to a group in this covid period? (9:00)
Superficial things fall away
We feel more connected
Since publishing of book, a lot has changed in tech industry, Apple still great? (10:40)
It takes long for a large company to completely lose it's why.
If you're graduating college, how do you launch yourself in this uncertain future? (12:45)
Future is always uncertain
Crisis is opportunity for reinvention
Company defined by what they do, struggle with reinventing themselves.
Defined by why, more opportunities, easier to reinvent
It's the journey
First job is not last job
First job is not best job
It's about learning what you want
How to spread a why through an organization? (16:15)
The why probably does not have to do with the climate the manner in which you're bringing your why to life has to do with the climate. A why, almost always, has to do with human beings. And if climate weren't a challenge in our lives right now, your why would be the same. You'd be bringing it to life in a new way.
How to spread it?
Talk about it.
Start meeting with it
Put it on the website
Give speeches to teams
Reward people who advanced the cause
Build into incentive structure
Talk about it obsessively
Put stuff on walls, stairwells.
How can we clearly understand our why? (19:10)
Program: Jumpstart your why
Friend you love and who loves you.
Not family member, not spouse, that relationship is too close
The friend you could call at 3 o clock in the morning
Ask the question:
"why are we friends?"
"What is it about me, that I know, that you would be there for me, no matter what?"
They will struggle to put into words.
They will start rationalizing
Play devil's advocate
"that's the definition of a friend"
"what specifically is it about me, that I know that you would be there no matter what?"
They'll get frustrated.
You'll keep playing devil's advocate
"that's just the definition of a best friend"
Eventually they'll give up.
Eventually they'll start to describe themselves
"I don't know Simon, all I know is I can just sit in a room with you, I don't even have to talk to you, and I feel inspired"
What they finally articulate, is the value you have in their lives.
And you'll have some sort of an emotional reaction.
The things we give to the world, is the value our friends have for us.
If you do this with multiple friends, you will get exactly the same answer, if not very very close.
Because the value we have is our why.
Is a personal why the same as a business why? (22:30)
Why is basically an origin story, where we come from
Individual: sum total of
How we were raised
Lessons we learned from our parents, friends, experiences we had growing up
Company takes the why of the founder
Goal: keep it clear when you get successful
Why of a tribe
Person that says "I'm gonna start my own tribe"
Who inspires you and why? (24:30)
Friends, people I wrote about
Have you seen any companies change because of learning about the golden circle? (25:30)
Bob Chapman saw TED talk, "I built this company and you put words to it"
Paramedics, medics, why is clear, but how to keep going? (27:30)
Take care of each other
You have to have emotions
Get that stress out
How to explain golden circle to young officers? (29:40)
What defines the uniformed forces are the cultures. They have different cultures.
Airforce: find a better way to do things
How do you know your why is going fuzzy? How to keep clear? ()
Stress goes up
Joy of work
Relationships will struggle "I don't know who you are anymore"
Get it back? Cf 12 step program
Admit the problem
Ask for help
Surround yourself with symbols
Pictures of people who remind
Take advantage of all the open spaces to remind yourself (walls, stairs,...)
How do you move forward as an introvert, when your why requires you to be an extrovert?
Why never demands extrovert
Job (aka what) may demand extravert
Book: Quiet - Susan Cain
Introvert wakes up with 5 coins, every social interaction takes a coin. End of the day, depleted
Extrovert wake up without, every social interaction gives a coin. End of day, richer.
How do you seperate why from ego?
Why: knowing where you come from
Healthy: thinking you're good
Unhealthy: thinking you're better than others
People with huge healthy ego, think they're good, know they're good. But if you come in and say "hey I have an idea" they lean in
What are best ways of making why accessible to staff?
Sense of your why in your gut
To make it accessible, you have to find words that connect to people
Eg. Martin Luther King put into words what many people felt
"you put into words, something I have been trying to say for years"
Can there be an overdoing of the why? Like a cult status or something?
Are the people in service to the people, or in service to themselves?
You can accuse any organisation with strong culture as cult-like
Leader puts the self first
Using everyone else to benefit their needs and goals
Great leaders see themselves as in service for the people.
What is the relationship between intuition and the why?
Why exists in limbic brain
Knowing your why enhances intuition
Root of intuition is your why
The more we practice
Starting with why
Leading with why
Making decision with why
The stronger our intuition becomes
How do you help everyone in your organisation to find their why?
Book: find your why - Simon Sinek
Workshop: Jumpstart your why
Pay what you like
See website, free download (eg. Friends exercise)
How does imposter syndrome factor into finding your why?
The clearer the why is, the less susceptible you are to imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome: wondering if you have any role to play here
"Why are they taking advice from me? What the heck do I know?"
Why gives quiet calm
Remind people: I don't have the answer, I don't think I'm right, I offer a perspective.
Set the expectation, hedge against the imposter syndrome. Not an expert, but a student on a journey.
How do you deal with a leader whose why is good and focused, but the how not good for the employees?
Golden Circle: every piece is equally important, why is most often forgotten
If any is kissing, you are off balance
The fact that the why is strong in this organisation or in this leader, but the how's they don't follow a set of clear values, then they're out of balance, the golden circle is out of balance, and that's where they have to work.
By the way, you can have a super strong why and a super strong how, but if you don't produce anything that helps bring it to life... And all you're doing is, you know, doing whatever job you can find, and like not paying attention to finding a tribe or finding a company, where you feel like you belong. Then your why can be crystal clear. Your values can be crystal clear. And you're going to be struggling and feel stress. Because you're in a place that isn't where you should be.
Each piece of the golden circle, must be in balance for that
Each piece has to be there, no one piece is more important than the other.
What's more important, why or Vision?
Equally important they are different things
Why, comes from the last, we look for patterns across your life, when things were naturally going extremely well. That pattern is our why
Vision is where we're going
Any you want
Multiple visions, one for company, family,...
Just cause, so just we would willingly sacrifice
What if my why does not match the why of your colleagues?
You probably don't get along
If they all belong, and you don't:
You're gonna struggle to get along
Find a place where you can find common values.
Find common human ground with those colleagues
How can we best prepare ourselves for the new normal, without knowing what it is?
World is constantly changing
It's more clear now, because it's sudden.
Not: how do we prepare for new normal?
Yes: given the current circumstances right now, how can I bring to life what I believe in a new way?
Eg. In person is gonna be delayed for a while. How can we create new ways of social closeness?
Eg. Book club is a mechanism for social closeness
Don't worry about the future, adapt for now.