You can’t learn while you blame others. You can’t learn while you blame the system. You can’t learn while you blame the world. You can’t learn while you blame yourself. (aka shame)
When you blame, you put the power for change somewhere else.
Blame mindset:
- You have a problem.
- [Some person / thing] is to blame for that problem.
- [That person / thing] needs to change, for your problem to be solved
- There is nothing you, yourself can do but wait and complain
- No learning happens
Shame mindset:
- You have a problem.
- [Your unchangeable inadequacy] is to blame for that problem.
- [Your unchangeable inadequacy] needs to change, for your problem to be solved
- There is nothing you, yourself can do but wait and complain
- No learning happens
There is another aspect to blame, and that is psychological safety.
You can’t learn while feeling unsafe.
When do people feel unsafe? When others blame them! When they think others blame them. When they are afraid of the possibility of others blaming them.
So when you blame, you won’t be able to learn. When others blame, you won’t dare to learn.
That is why a Model: Blameless Postmortem is so valuable! And this is why the Model: Responsibility Process is so powerful!