Be proactive Begin with the end in mind First things first Think win win Empathise Synergy Sharpen the saws PART 1: PARADIGMS AND PRINCIPLES CHAPTER 1: INSIDE-OUT Personality ethic “get rich quick” “wealth without work” Character ethic Principles (deep universal truths) fairness integrity honesty human dignity service (contribution) quality / excellence potential (grow, develop, release more and more) growth (release potential, develop talents) patience nurturance encouragement process (natural way of events, build up, levels) P/PC balance (Production/Production Capability) practice: situational, specific activity values: defined by paradigm (when equal to principle -> thruth) listening requires patience openness understanding principle centered, character based, inside-out start with paradigms, character and motive private victories precede public victories CHAPTER 2: THE SEVEN HABITS - AND OVERVIEW Character = composite of habits thought < action < habit < character < destiny bad habits: procrastination impatience criticalness selfishness Habits knowledge: what to do, why skill: how to do desire: want to do (=motivation) being <-> seeing happiness: subordinate want NOW for want LATER Maturity dependence < independence < interdependence you < me < we dependence independence interdependence physical disabled / paralized make it on my own together accomplish more than alone emotional worth & security -> other’s opinions inner directed, validated from within recognize need for love, giving and receiving love intellectual solve my problems, think for me creative, analitic, express best ideas together character act instead of be acted upon DEPENDENCE 1. Be Proactive 2. Begin With the End in Mind 3. Put First Things First INDEPENDENCE 4. Think Win/Win 5. Seek First to Understand… Then to be Understood 6. Synergize INTERDEPENDENCE Effectiveness long-term P/PC balance (Production/Production Capability) Three Kinds of Assets Physical: lawn mower Financial: Human: Organizational PC threat employees like you want them to treat customers buy hand earn heart: loyalty, enthusiasm, creativity How to use this book not book, companion not learner, teacher PART 2: PRIVATE VICTORY HABIT 1: Be Proactive - Principles of Personal Vision self-awareness: examine our paradigms, reality or priciple based VS conditioned The Social Mirror 3 social maps/3 theories of determinism Genetic determinism: grandparents Psychic determinism: parents, upbringing, childhood experiences Enviromental determinism: boss, spouse, teenager, economic situation, national policies conditioning: stimilus -> response ? self-fulfilling prophecies ? Between Stimilus and Response “The last of the human freedoms” decide how things affect you power to choose response liberty: options to choose from in your enviroment freedom: internal power to exercise options principle “between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose”: self-awareness imagination conscience: inner awareness of right and wrong principles that govern behavior sense if thoughts and actions are in harmony independent will: ability to act based on self-awareness, free of influences computer methaphor: animals are programmed humans are programmed, but can write new programs Proactivity Defined proactivity: > taking initative responsible for own lives behavior <-> decisions, NOT conditions subordinate feelings to values responsibility: response-ability choise to empower things that control us => reactive weather social: react how they are treated “No one can hurt you without your conscient” - Eleanor Roosevelt “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them” - Ghandhi “I am what I am today because of the choises I made yesterday” -> “I choose otherwise” 3 central values in life - Victor Frankl experiential: what happens to us creative: what we bring into living attitudinal: response in dificult situations attitudinal most important Taking The Initiative R&I: resoursefulness and initiative Act or Be Acted Upon Listening to Our Language love is a verb, the feeling is a fruit of love. Love, sacrifice, listen, empathize, appreciate, affirm Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence look where we focus time and energy conserns: mental or emotional involvement health children work debt war influence: control, influence health work Direct, Indirect and No Control direct control: own behavior (Habit 1,2,3) indirect control: other’s behavior change method of influence, Habit 4,5,6 empathy confrontation example persuasion reasoning fight or flight … no control: past, situational realities accept, smile Expanding the Circle of Influence The “Have’s” and the “Be’s” Circle of concern: have Circle of influence: be “Anytime we think the problem is “out there”, that thought is the problem” control our lives by working on what we are The Other End of the Stick consequences and mistakes free to choose actions - not free to choose the consequences living in harmony with principles -> positive violating principles -> negative past mistakes are in the circle of concern, not influence proactive approach to a mistake: acknowledge correct learn Making and Keeping Commitments self-awareness and conscience -> awareness area for improvement imagination and independent will -> act make a promise set a goal work to achieve it honor becomes greater than our moods knowledge, skill, desire Proactivity: The Thirty-Day Test work only in the circle of influence don’t argue for weaknesses Application Suggestions language: If only I can’t I have to past experience reencounter, reactive -> proactive select a problem that is frustrating direct, indirect or no control? identify first step in circle of Influence 30-day proactivity test, be aware of change HABIT 2: Begin with the End in mind - Principles of Personal Leadership funeral 4 speakers family friend profession community organization What It Means to “Begin with the End in Mind” end of life as frame of reference, each part of your life can be examined in the context of the whole, of what realy matters most to you clear understanding of destination efficient vs effective funeral -> personal definition of succes All Things Are Created Twice mental creation (envision) physical creation (realisation) By Design or Default Habit 1 says you are the creator Habit 2 is the first creation Leadership and Management - The Two Creations Leadership Management Habit 2 Habit 3 first creation second creation doing the right things doing things right What do I want to accomplish? How do I accomplish things? war battle vision realisation Rescipting: Becoming Your Own First Creator proactivity is based on unique human endowments: self-awareness imagination: visualize potential worlds conscience: come in contact with principles or universal laws singular talents and avenues of contribution personal guidlines rescipting or paradigm shifting A Personal Mission Statement change with a changeless core inside logotherapy At the Center comprised of our most basic paradigms, source of security, guidance, wisdom, power center = core paradigm security : sense of worth identity emotional anchorage self-esteem basic personal strength guidance : source of direction, map (internal frame of reference) standards or principles or implicit criteria for decision making wisdom : perspective on life sense of balance how parts and principles apply relation of parts and principles embraces judgment descernment comprehension integrated wholenes or oneness or gestalt power : capacity to act strength and potency to accomplish vital energy to make choises and decisions capacity to overccome habits and make better ones security + guidance => wisdom => power Alternative Centers Spouse emotional dependance moods and feelings external event that influence the relationship Family security -> vulnerable to changes tradition and culture family reputation popularity > welfare love conditionally -> children emotionally dependant/couterdependant Money anxious, uneasy, defensive, protective no wisdom or guidance limited power and security Work identity from work “I’m a …” security vulnerable demands of work => guidance wisdom and power ineffective in areas different from work Possession Material Intangible: fame, glory, social prominence security in constant threat self-worth fluctuates: inferior - superior Pleasure instant gratification = possible & encouraged pleasure relaxes in moderation course of least resistance talents remain undevelopped capacities dormant spirit lethargic heart unfulfilled Friend/Enemy no intrinsic security self-worth is volatile (reaction to others emotional state) guidance from predicted reactions of other’s responses wisdom limited by social lens or enemy-centered paranoia no power Church labels others: active, inactive, liberal, orthodox, conservative, … Self selfishness accepts but doesn’t give stagnant Identifying Your Center Center Security Guidance Wisdom Power Pleasure * only secure on pleasure high* security is short-lived, anestetizing, eviroment dependent decisions -> most pleasure what is in it for you almost negligible self constantly changing and shifting If it feels goodWhat I wantWhat I needWhat’s in it for me? You view the world by how decisions, events or cirumstances will affect you limited to your own resourceswithout the benefit of interdependency Friend security is a function of the social mirrorhighly dependent on the opinions of others decision criterion is “What will they think?"easily embarressed You see the world through a social lens You are limited by your comfort zoneYour actions are as fickle as opinion A Principle Center Center Security Guidance Wisdom Power Principle Two Ways to Tap the Right Brain expand perspective imagination: funeral write your own eulogy 25th and 50th wedding anniversary together with spouse retirement plans after retirement only 1 semester left to live, must remain in school as a good student keep a diary live it a week visualisation and affirmation good affirmation: personal positive present tense visual emotional “It’s deeply satisfying (emotional) that I (personal) respond (present tense) with wisdom, love, firmness, and self-control (positive) when my children misbehave.” Identifying Roles and Goals Write a mission statement in terms of important roles mission to fulfill this mission roles