(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vX2iVIJMFQ)

anecdote: vietnam war overwhelming victories for USA lost the war

When you play an infinite games, with finite rules.
You race through your recourses and will

infinite games:

  • marriage
  • friendships
  • global politics
  • business

When you play an infinite game with finite mindset

  • decline of trust
  • decline of cooperation
  • decline of innovation

anecdote: apple vs microsoft

Model: Leader for the infinite game

  1. just cause
  2. trusting teams
  3. worthy rival
  4. existential flexibility
  5. courage to lead

(1) Just cause

a just cause is purpose or cause that is so just
you would willingly sacrifice to be a part for it

willingly sacrifice:

  • higher pay
  • late hours
  • business trips
  • see family less
You may not like it, but it's worth it
it feels worth it

eg.

  • Apple: individuals should be able to stand up to big brother
  • USA equal in all rights, including life, liberty, pursuit of happiness

Quote: just cause

just causes are a description of a future state so ideal
that for all practical purposes we will never actually achieve that vision
but we will die trying

gives our lives and work meaning not about achievement every goal we hit, is a marker that we’re making progress towards something bigger it’s about momentum, not about absolutes

metrics help us count speed and distance progress re-energises

Quote: the reason we call it vision

the reason we call it vision
is because you have to be able to see it

imagine a world that is different to the world we have now
that you believe that
if everything you did in your organisation went perfectly,
you would contribute to the building of that world

Simon’s vision

I imagine a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired.
Feel safe at work
and return home, fulfilled, at the end of the day

Every job you have, should be contributing to the same vision

Model: Having vs finding a vision

we don't have to put pressure on ourselves to be visionary

there is a very small handful of people in our population who are visionary

eg. Steve Jobs, Richard Branson

We don't have to have a vision, we have to find a vision
If there is someone else's vision that gives us goosebumps
If there is someone else's vision that we say "that's the world I want to live in"

Martin Luther's "I have a dream"
If you want to live in that world, choose his
And devote your life and devote your career to helping build that vision in some way shape or form, even if it's only small steps

(2) trusting teams anecdote: hotel four seasons people say hello because they want to say hello Noah the barista

How do I create an environment that my people will be at their natural best.

If we do not have trusting teams
what we do have is a group of people who show up to work every day
lying, hiding and faking

anecdote: United Airline passenger beat up

I feel sorry for every member of that crew
because 100% of them knew that that was the wrong thing to do
and did not intervene
because they feared getting in trouble more
than they feared doing the right thing

red flag: “why can’t you talk to us like human beings”

Sir, if I don't follow the rules,
I could get in trouble or lose my job

circle of safety trusting team

  • people feel like they have control and agency over their own jobs

anecdote: airconditioning request

everyone there is afraid to make a decision
nobody has any agency or control

and there is one thing we know about human beings
that our sense of enjoyment from our work does not come from work-life balance and how much yoga we do
our sense of enjoyment at work and the sense of stress we have
is all about our sense of control
that when we feel like we have control over our work we actually enjoy it more
and control is taken away from us, where we fear making any kind of decision what so ever, that is what increases stress dramatically

(3) worthy rival

he reminded me, he revealed to me
his very existence revealed to me my weaknesses
it was much easier to take that energy
and put it against someone than to admit to myself
that I've got some work to do

Quote: worthy rival

the only true competitor in an infinite game, is yourself
but what you have to have is a worthy rival
- someone who is better than you in your own industry
- or in another industry, who is better at something you do

and instead of hating them and trying to beat them and trying to outdo them
we learn from them, we admire them, we respect them

because by revealing to us our weaknesses,
it gives us tools to go back and see where we need to improve

the goal is not to beat them
the goal is to simply improve and stay in the game

people who you know, are better at your job than you

They are so good
they make me insecure they are so good
those are the people to admire

have rivals: it's another tool for constant improvement

(4) existential flexibility finite game existential: game ends infinite game existential: players end, game goes on

dramatic shift in strategy
because you find a better way to advance your cause

anecdote: apple visits xerox park graphical user interface

We have to invest in this graphic user interface thing.
Steve, we can't, we've already invested millions of dollars and countless man hours in a completely different stategic direction, if we abandon that, we'll blow up our own company
Better we should blow it up, than someone else

Why would you abandon something that is working, for something that might not work?

To a person driven by a just cause, it's so easy for them to see
staying on the path they're on is the path that will lead to death
This decision is the obvious choice and the money means nothing.
Because it means survival and the ability to continue to thrive

anecdote: Kodak

if you are not willing to blow up your company
the market will blow it up for you

(5) courage to lead

everything before, is unbelievably difficult

all the pressures in our lives
- markets
- families
- incentive structures in our companies
are trying to force us to consider
- the finite
- the short term over the long term
- the profit before the people

profitability is important, but we have a bias towards people

> thought > agile manifesto > although we value the things on the left… > people over profitability

it's much easier to have redundancies
rather that figure out how to protect them

anecdote: Walt Disney, animation ; Disneyland

The courage to lead, fundamentally means, you're willing to be open minded to consider that maybe, just maybe, the way you think the world works, may be wrong.
And the way we've been building our business based on all the social conventions and what everybody tells us are the right things to do, maybe is wrong
and just because everyone is doing it, does not mean it's right.

The vast majority of the business philosophies and practices that we practice today, are not norms of business.
They are recent, they come from the 70's and 80's
- shareholder supremacy
- mass layoffs
- rank and yank
- definition of responsibility of business "maximise profits within the bounds of the law"

anecdote: titanic

people are anti-capitalist now capitalism we have, is not capitalism like Adam Smith envisioned it

  • Book: The Wealth of Nations
No! Our form of capitalism prioritizes
- people
- trust
- cooperation
- empathy
- maternal instinct
- longevity

long term or sustainable,
I don't use the word long-term,
20 years is long-term,
30 years is long-term.
Infinite!

> current quest ’learn to write adaptable software’ ‘sustainable software’ > maybe should look for ‘infinite software’

What does it mean to live an infinite life? lives are finite life is infinite

we don't get to pick the game
but we do get to pick how we play
that is the only game we have

if we choose to live our lives in a finite mindset
we're playing to win
we're playing for someone else to lose
we're playing
- to advance our careers faster than anybody else
- to make more money than anybody else
we're comparing the scores constantly
we're slicing and dicing to show them to we're the best, we're number one
we get to make up the numbers and timeframes but it's really important to us that everybody thinks we're number one

you don't build trust that way, cooperation is hard to come by, innovation forget about it.

you'll be rich, and then when you die,
you don't get to take any of it with you
and we won't miss you
we'll forget your name
and your business will probably close right after you

> oh crap… > “advance our careers faster than anybody else” > “slicing and dicing to show I’m the best” > …that’s me

Or we can choose to live our lives with an infinite mindset
which means we give
we give our businesses
a cause worth coming to work for

we give our families
a cause worth helping each other out for

we commit ourselves to being the leaders we wish we had
we commit ourselves to building circles of safety,
in which people feel safe and we trust each other
and we're willing to take risks and be vulnerable
to set the tone

because if we take care of each other this can outlast me

we're willing to have rivals
and be honest about our weaknesses
and admit that there are other people
who are much better at what we do than us
and we should learn from them

we're willing to make that massive shift
if we find a better way to advance our cause

and we will have the courage
to say to all the people that say we're crazy, idealistic:
"yeah, we are, I'll take my risk"

because that is fundamentally what the infinite mindset it
it's a code
for the idealists
to operate in a world
that is telling us we should be realistic
it's a code
for people who believe that
an unrealisable vision
that is worth devoting our lives to advance
is better than a short term goal

the choice
to live an infinite life,
means that we leave a legacy
it means that when we pass
others will pick up the torch
and continue without us

anecdote: Richard Brandson (Virgin brand)

Q&A

(1) Question: How to change the corporate world?

  • stories about heart-count vs head-count
  • never worked in any company that would have used that
  • is it rare to have the courage to lead?
  • is there momentum?

Answer: Model: heart-count vs head-count Bob Chapman everyone is someone’s son and daughter every time they make a decision: I’m responsible for someone’s son and someone’s daughter (ref: Book: Leaders eat last - Simon Sinek)

It is who Bob is

Question is ‘we want more Bob Chapmans’

Quote: the first criteria to be a leader

The first criteria to be a leader is
you have to want to be one
-- George Flinn

anecdote: officer vs soldier

we don't want leaders who don't want to be leaders

Metaphor: leadership is like health

the education to become a leader
is a lifestyle,
it's like the choice to become healthy

at the early days it's usually a lot of heavy lifting at a steep learning curve
- I have to change the way I eat
- I have to go to the gym
I hate that

And then you get into shape
and you feel good
and you look good
and your doctor is very happy with you

And the worst part is,
once you get into shape,
you have to keep going to the gym
and eating healthy for the rest of your life

It's not something you do, achieve your goal and then stop
It's the choice to live a life that way
Even though there might have been a finite goal in the short term

Leadership is the same
it is a lifestyle
it is a muscle that requires constant exercise
and though
you may study all of the theory about leadership
and you may have been good at it at one time
if you don't keep it up the muscle will atrophy

The movement is going into the right direction

Quote: you can be a leader

If you work with someone to the left,
and you work with somebody to the right,
you can be a leader.
Leadership is the responsibility for those around us.
To see those around us rise.

(2) Question: picking your rival as a challenger brand Answer: Challenger brands: there is some sort of ideology that got them angry in the first place

their mere existence, keeps you honest about what your cause is

best thing that ever happened to the west was the soviet union
because it reminded us what we stood for

If you're a challenger brand
the most important thing is that
what you're standing up to is the ideology, not the company
because if you eventually get big
you haven't won
they just dropped out

the goal is not to beat them
the goal is to spread your gospel
and not theirs
it's a rival gospel

(3) Question: What is a simple thing that we all could start to do Answer:

You cannot do existential flexibility without a just cause
and I would argue even trusting teams
because otherwise everyone is gonna panic
and think you're crazy

just cause and trusting teams are really bigger than the others

If there is one thing you can do it's
articulate what it's all for

What is the difference between just cause and why? Model: Why vs Vision

The why comes from the past
it's who you are
it's why the organisation was founded
it's who you are as a human being
it's the thing that drives you
it is immutable
it will never change, no matter what happens in your life
it comes from looking backwards

a just cause comes from looking forwards
it is an unrealised future
that if your why were to be brought to life
in the most magical of ways
the world that would exist, would be this world

it is the dream
it is the fantasy
we call it vision because we can see it

so you have to be able to articulate
what this world looks like
in terms so clear
that other people go
"I can see it!"
"That sounds amazing!"
"Sign me up"

Challenge yourself There is multiple ways to do it

  • If everything we did went perfectly, what would the world look like?
  • What will we commit our organisation to help build?
  • What will we commit our life to help build?
The path to building trusting teams, is the path to good leadership

Commit yourself to being the leader you wish you had

(4) Question: The military shapes minds to put the most valuable thing on the line. How can we create that not in a timeframe of years, but weeks or months? Answer:

The admiration I have for the military
is the exact same love and admiration
I have for artists.

Both undertook their paths,
knowing they would not get rich.
and felt like it was a calling
and were willing to sacrifice to advance this thing
and be a part of something

To me it's the same love

You and I have colleagues and coworkers
They have brothers and sisters

they may fight,
but you try and attack my brother or sister,
you gotta go through me

they love each others
- empathy
- love
- devotion

How do we do it in weeks and months?

That's like asking me
"how do I fall in love in weeks?"
instead of this whole
- getting to know them
- being vulnerable
It's a slow, ploddy process

Sometimes you get lucky,
and you have a meeting of the minds,
and you have shared values
and it goes a little quiker

there is no way to speed up

it takes more than a week, but if you've been doing something for 7 years and you don't love it, maybe it's wrong

Quote: building trust inside and organisation is like the way you fall in love

The way you build trust inside an organisation
is the exact same way you fall in love

You devote yourself to the care of another human being
sometimes at the sacrifice of your own interests

Listening is really easy
you make the other person feel heard

How to make a friend
How to fall in love

now go do all these things at work

When somebody walks into your office and goes
"ugh, fuck my day"

you go "What's happening?"
and you listen, so they feel heard
don't give them advice
don't fix anything
just listen

when they tell you how awful it is, say
"that sucks, tell me more"

The military doesn't do it in 13 weeks.
They create the foundation for it in 13 weeks
but it takes time for those relationships to truly form

(5) Question: How does an infinite mindset, work in a company that is driven by finite leaders? Answer: You can’t change the mindset of people 2-3 levels above us But adopting the infinite mindset is like preparing yourself

maintain your infinite mindset
but hone it
get good at it
practice leadership

don't worry about changing people's mind

be the leader for the people around you

(6) Question: Schools have adopted a finite mindset Answer:

one of the problems with our schools:
we run our schools like we run our businesses

we become more obsessed with the metric than with the education or the child

the problem is that teachers don't feel taken care of
the leadership in school is a corporate leadership model
the headmasters are not obsessed with the care of the teachers

if you get that right, the teachers will take care of the students, don't worry about it

if you get that hierarchy right, it works just fine

(7) Question: Organisation needs investment, vision is infinite. Shareholders have a finite mindset and pressure us to take that.

  • What is your exit plan
  • When is this, when is that

They are playing a finite game against my infinite game Answer:

Do you own the company?
You took their money?
I got no problem with you looking for investors
But you took the number, more than the investor

You took the one
who offered you more money,
than you did from the person
who aligned to your values

You took the person
who is investing in the exit
rather than the one
who is investing in you and your vision

Berkshire Hatahway, does not sell the stocks it buys

Find money from someone who believes in you and your vision
and will give you the might
of their wealth of experience
and the people who work there
to advise you
rather than force you into the exit

Berkshire Hatahway, does not sell the stocks it buys

Find money from someone who believes in you and your vision
and will give you the might
of their wealth of experience
and the people who work there
to advise you
rather than force you into the exit

(8) Question: What fosters courage? Answer: Courage is an external thing

why did you do it? because they would have done it for me

sense of “someone has my back” gives me the courage to do something for them

professional tightrope walker trying a new stunt

it's not the ability that gave you the courage
it's the net

Quote: to live with a servant’s heart

To live with a servant's heart
to be that empathetic leader
people start to believe
that you have their backs
that you would do something for them
that you would sacrifice your interests to protect them
and miraculously they will do it back

Quote: the only thing that makes you a leader

The only thing that makes you a leader
is that you're the one that went first
You're the one that took the risk first

anecdote: Israeli’s the unit that you train with when you’re 16 years old is the unit for the rest of your life

Quote: self-help books

There is an entire section in the bookshop called self-help
There is no section in the bookshop called help-others

By ourselves, we're crap
We're just not that good by ourselves
We're not that strong, we're not that clever

But you get a team together
we can lift anything and solve any problem

(9) Question: Well-being day, once a year. Answer:

Model: balance consistency and intensity Metaphor: brushing your teeth

if you stop brushing your teeth
and only go to the dentist once a year

What does brushing your teeth for 2 minutes do?
It does nothing.
Unless you do it every single day

Metaphor: gym

you cannot go to the gym for 9 hours and get into shape

but if you work out every single day for 20 minutes
you'll absolutely get into shape

I just don't know when

companies like intensity because it’s easy to measure

too many companies think they can solve a problem with intensity I challenge them to consider the consistency stuff

(10) Question: Where do you fail as a leader? Answer: I succumb to fatigue When I’m writing a book, I’m at my worst too quick with decisions, I need to listen for a minute more

I am a spectacularly good listener
with people I will never see again for the rest of my life

But the people who are in my life, terrible!

So I had to learn to take the skills that I know,
but apply them to the people that I love

> damn, this is me

(11) Question: Western vs Asian mentality. How do you feel about the current environment worldly? Answer:

You mean how in the west we're trying to win and China has a thousand year plan?

Asia is playing an infinite game

They make plans for literally hundreds of years,
and we make plans for the next election cycle.

We have this thing in the west
where we like things we can easily understand
and don't like things we can't easily understand

Love is a tricky thing to understand,
but I know it exists
I don't have a metric for it
I can't measure it
But I know it's there

eastern philosophies embrace things we don’t understand better than we do

(12) Question: Achieving happiness on a day to day basis? Demoralised by tedious tasks you’re not interested in. Answer:

Model: seek joy instead of happiness Model: seek joy instead of happiness

happiness comes when
you win the game
you get an A on our exam
your number comes up in the lottery
and then it goes away

joy is something more underlying

How do I have happiness on a day to day basis? You don’t

The things that you will do,
you will not necessarily enjoy.
but the question is,
do you have a sense that they are a part of something bigger?
That's where the value and the joy comes from

you don't get to like every day
but you do get to love every day

you don't like your children every day
but you love your children every day

we've created this unrealistic expectation
that every day at work has to be amazing

like every day of your relationship has to be amazing
and every day in your friendship has to be amazing

it's an unfair standard to put on a human being
it's an unfair standard to put on an organisation

Don't seek happiness
happiness will happen here and there
Seek joy
and that comes from
- relationships
- belonging
- cause

(12) Question: How do you scale culture? 0-10 went well Answer: Model: scale breaks things

fundamentally, scale breaks things

family < 25

organisations can be like a family
and then they hit about 25 people
and it starts to get really complicated
now you need structure and hierarchy
plus you're not all friends anymore

?? < 150

you can still all know everybody's name
you can still refer to people
you'll max out at about 150
and then it get's really complicated

Quote: humans aren’t made for scale

scale just breaks things for human beings
we're just not made for it

the way you do it is with effective hierarchy
you should have an effective training program to teach leaders
and you should be considering somebody's leadership abilities, not just their results, when you're promoting people

there should be an opportunity to learn leadership, practice leadership, you should be teaching it

Model: School bus theory

What happens to your company
if tomorrow you get hit by a school bus?
Will it fold?
Or will it keep going?

What about:

It will absolutely keep going
because the cause is crystal clear
and everybody we hired believed in the cause

And even if they were the best qualified person,
because we suspected that they did not share
- our values,
- our beliefs
- and our cause
we did not hire them

There was someone who was toxic in the organisation
and we coached them and coached them and coached them
and they proved to be un-coachable
And even though they were the highest performing in the organisation.
That salesperson sells more than anybody else
We made the difficult decision to ask them to leave
To go and find joy somewhere else
They are a good person
They are just a bad fit

Those are hard decision
and those are the kinds of decisions
that others see you making
that you actually do believe in your cause more than your growth plan

The infinite game, still includes finite games

Are you promoting your best performers
or are you promoting your best leaders?

And you better be teaching them how to lead, once you promote them.